Thursday, March 01, 2007
My oldest son, Seth’s blog is a work of art. One never knows what will appear, and certainly his ability to write what he is feeling is something he gets very honest - from his mother, of course!
His entries on Wednesday, February 14 and Tuesday, February 27 are simply remarkable.
Seth has always had the most amazing imagination possible. When he decided to attend Baylor University his freshman year, I have to admit, I was stunned. I just didn’t see it, but God did. Not only did he connect with a church (and more importantly, a community) that will always be just that - a community of genuine people who love God and want to love one another - but he learned to express himself through written word - at least that’s my opinion. (Maybe he knew how before that year, but it really came to a reality during that year)
Seth has always used his sarcasm as a defense mechanism. That used to bother me. No longer does it bother me because we all have our defense mechanisms, and I know Seth’s heart. Regardless of how a person behaves, or what you think he thinks, and what you think you know about a person, if their heart is right - all is good with the world.
Seth’s heart has always been right. No one I know has a bigger or a more tender heart. I know because I have one, too. No one I know wears it on their sleeve more than my wonderful son, Seth. When you have a “right” heart, it will always be compassionate for those things that are worth being compassionate about. It will always care way more deeply than most hearts. It will also be broken way more than one can sometimes handle. It will always be in a position to be damaged.
When Seth’s heart is broken, it comes from a deep sense of validation. I so relate to this because all my life I have worked to prove myself to anyone who will pay attention. Parents, teachers, coaches, professors, friends, colleagues……..I have never felt that I could or would measure up, so………I convinced myself that if I work harder than the others, I will be appreciated - validated.
I am so sorry that I have lived my life this way for way too many years. I am sorry that I have worked myself into sickness for what I believed was what I was supposed to do at that time.
I so NOT desire that for my son - or any of my sons. I don’t regret caring for people, and serving them as Christ would serve them, but I have to believe I could have taken a more healthy approach to doing those things.
So, please, Seth - learn from that! Don’t worry about validation. Don’t worry about being appreciated. It will NEVER be enough. Most people are too busy dealing with their own “stuff” to concern themselves with appreciating your art. Sorry - brutal, but true.
Instead, concern yourself with being appreciated by only God Himself. For all the triteness of that phrase, it could not be more profound. If what you create pleases Him, then that really is all that matters…….
and……more importantly, if you never created another video/film for the rest of your life, you would find a way to express yourself in ways that would still make God smile and people stand in awe…….
I could not be more convinced of that…….
you are an amazing young man, Seth Byron Worley…..